That Time Of Year Again
by perpetualpathology
Summary: The 2nd Anniversary of Mama's death rolls around and Zosia fails to turn up for her shift at the hospital. Can Guy reassure his bipolar daughter that she's not alone?


**Okay, so this was a bit of drabble and I'm not even sure if I should be posting this because it's that bad but I was deleting some old files to create space on my laptop, found this and thought I'd post it anyway!**

* * *

"Come in." Guy said loudly after there was a knock on the door of the CEO's office. "Ah, Dr Digby. Why wasn't Zosia in today?" He asked as the junior doctor walked in and stood in front of his desk.

"That's why I came to talk to you actually." He began nervously. "I know today must be difficult for you too, but this morning… Zosia hadn't come out of her room so Dom and I checked in on her before we left for work but we found her sitting in the corner of her room. We tried talking to her, but she seemed perfectly calm and she said she couldn't go into work because she wanted to spend the day thinking about her mother. But Dom's shift finished half an hour ago and he found her at home in the same position, in the same pyjamas and she hasn't eaten all day."

"Has she been taking her lithium?" Guy asked monotonously, whilst his heart rate began to elevate. He could keep his exterior looking as cool as ice when he wanted to but he couldn't control the racing pulse inside of him.

"As far as we know, yes." He nodded.

"Right, thank you Dr Digby. I'd better go and check on her." Guy said concernedly as he patted his blazer to ensure that he had his keys, wallet and phone before he quickly left his office, jumped in the lift and went down to the car park to make a hasty journey to the junior doctors' flat.

* * *

"I've made her some toast, given her a couple of drinks and snacks but she won't touch anything. She hasn't said a word or moved since I got home from the hospital." Dom whispered to the CEO in the open plan kitchen.

"Right, where does she keep her lithium tablets? I need to know that she's taking them." Guy demanded quietly as he didn't want to shock or frighten his daughter – her mental health issues meant that erratic behaviour was acceptable. She hadn't behaved in such ways for months and since she'd been started on medication she hadn't had a manic or depression episode once. But he had a feeling that the anniversary of her mother's death was enough to trigger one.

"In her bedroom. Sorry, I don't know where exactly."

"No, no. Don't be sorry. Thank you for informing me, she's lucky to have you and Arthur to keep an eye on her." Guy said quietly before he walked calmly over to his daughter's bedroom where the door was open and he found his daughter, as described, sitting in the corner of her room under the windowsill in her white vest top and black pyjama shorts with her knees up to her chest and her head resting against the wall. "Hey Zoshie." He said softly as he closed the bedroom door behind him before he slowly walked over to the corner of the room and crouched down in front of her. "Two years today and yet it still seems like yesterday." He began but Zosia didn't even raise her eyes to meet his. She just kept on staring into blank space. "Have you been taking your lithium?" He asked gently.

"I stopped taking it five days ago." She mumbled.

"Why?" He demanded.

"You won't understand."

"Then help me to understand darling." He pleaded. "I'm not mad with you, I promise. I just want to understand why you'd stop taking something that's making you better."

"You can't understand."

"Why can't I?" He frowned.

"Because I think differently, my brain works differently. That's why!" She snapped. "You can't understand it if you don't think the way that I do."

"You don't think differently, you just have periods of highs and lows which you can't control without medication." Guy stated. "You know medically that you don't _think_ differently, you just feel a bit different to most people but everyone is different Zosia. Please, just help me to understand. Because if no one but you understands what is wrong then the problem can't be fixed." He begged.

"Who said there was a problem?" She mumbled as she rested her head back against the side of the wall again as though the sudden rage has passed in an instant.

"You haven't eaten all day, you don't look like you've had enough sleep and you seem withdrawn. That leads me to believe that there is a problem here." Guy explained. They sat in a silence for several minutes, though it seemed like an age, as the father observed and analysed what his daughter's facial expressions seemed to be displaying. Finally, she junior doctor spoke up but she kept her eyes looking at the floor.

"I stopped taking it because I wanted to be me… I wanted to be able to remember Mama today and think of her like _I_ do, not how these tablets make me think of her. They take a while to leave my system so I stopped taking the lithium five days ago and I'll start taking it again tomorrow." She explained.

"Zosia, I understand that. I do, I honestly do, but you should've consulted your doctor first or at least told someone." Guy said caringly. "Right, if you start taking the lithium again tomorrow it'll take a while for it to build up in your system and become effective again so you're taking the next 7 days off of work, no objections." He said sternly. "Apart from that, how about you pack a bag for a couple of nights and come and stay at home for a little while eh? And it's not so that I can keep an eye on you, it's because I think being surrounded by Mama's things will help you cope with today a little easier." He explained.

"Can we go to her grave?" She asked quietly as she finally made eye contact with her father and allowed him to see the pool of tears, threatening to drop at any moment.

"Zosia, of course we can." Guy smiled. "We can go to that florist down Addlestone Lane where they sell her favourite lilies to lay down for Mama. But first, I want you to eat and drink something." He said sternly after glancing at the plate of cold toast on her bedside table amongst an apple, a cereal bar, a packet of dried fruit, a full bottle of water and an untouched cup of stone cold tea where Dom had tried to get her to consume something to no avail.

"I'm not hungry." Zosia mumbled as she shook her head.

"No, but you would be if you'd have taken your lithium. And you _know_ you would be." He said sternly. "Come on, anything you want. We can even go out for a meal if you want."

"Can we go to Mama's grave and then order a takeaway?"

"Sure, as long as you will _actually _eat it."

"I will, I promise." She nodded.

"Okay. Come on then, pack a bag for a couple of nights and I'll tell Arthur and Dom that you're staying at mine for a few days."

* * *

"Do you know what I think would make you feel better?" Guy began as he cleared away the Chinese takeaway containers from the coffee table in the living room whilst Zosia found something to watch on TV.

"What?"

"Why don't I run you a nice hot bath with Wieliczka bath salts, eh? And I'll sort out the old camcorder with the tapes from when you were little to watch afterwards."

"Wieliczka salts were Mama's favourite." Zosia whispered before she cupped a hand over her mouth.

"Sorry darling, I didn't mean to upset you; I just thought that you liked them–" Guy was interrupted as she began sobbing and tears spilled over her eyelids and rolled down her cheek. Guy knew that stopping her medication would cause erratic mood swings but, though he wasn't surprised, he did feel guilty for triggering such an event so he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry over his shoulder for a little while.

"How can you just carry on like normal when I can't go ten seconds without thinking about her?" She howled.

"I think about her all the time too Zoshie," Guy soothed, "But I've dealt with my grief now and I live the way that I think your mother would've wanted me to – I save lives on a daily basis and so do you. She'd be so, _so_ incredibly proud of you." He said reassuringly as he rubbed a hand up and down her back slowly.

"Even if she knew about all the stupid things I did a few months ago?"

"You were ill Zosia." Guy expressed. "She'd be proud of you for getting help and getting better. And no, this one little slip up about the lithium doesn't change that. I understand what you did and why you did it. You just need to make it through the next few days until your medication starts to kick in again… Now, how about that bath?"

**Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think :-)**


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